My daughter thinks I’m the tooth fairy. I don’t mean she thinks that there is no such thing as the tooth fairy, she thinks I’m THE tooth fairy. She is convinced of it. She has lost quite a few teeth in the last couple months and she is convinced that I am magically making them fall out. She keeps trying to trick me into admitting that I am using my magic against her. She keeps asking what I need the teeth for and what I’m doing with them. Anytime I say anything on the subject she always responds with, “Why would you say that if you weren’t the tooth fairy?” or “SEE! I KNEW IT!”
The evil side of me wants to play with this notion. My good side, also known as my wife, keeps telling me it’s a bad idea. I want to say things like, “I’m going tooth collecti…I mean… uh… I’m going to the gym.” or mumbling to myself, “That kid down the road lost another tooth? I better get some singles.” or the even more subtle, “accidentally” give her a dollar bill that is covered in glitter.
I’m not sure how to handle this. The thing that bugs me the most is, what is the tooth fairy doing with all those teeth?